The Essentials

     The past week and a half I spent time battling the flu, playing endless games of War with my niece Tessa, and binge watching Love on Netflix.  So happy to be up and at ’em again and have my energy back. It felt so nice to pull out my art journal and start sketching. For my drawing, I used a 7mm mechanical pencil to sketch, and Prismacolor colored pencils to finish. 

The Woman-



Soft lips


Making love


Essential for Existence


Male to Female Transporter

Key to Fruit, Nut, and Seed Formation

Sweet, Thick Honey Maker

-The Bee



Elrian and Ashryn

For my next characters, I used a 7mm pencil to sketch, and prismacolor colored pencils to add color. I had an old sketch I wanted to redraw and finally work on and add to my art journal of character studies.


Elrian and Ashryn

Valynowen, an elven mage of the Anwar elves of Rhunduin, plots against an elven maiden Ashryn. Ashryn is loved by a dark fae named Elrian from Ciardha. Valynowen is insanely jealous of their love, and wants Elrian for her own. Valynowen plots against the unknowing couple, she murders Ashryn in a jealous rage, and curses the beautiful Elrian to walk the rest of his days as a hybrid wolf fae.

           You. Now a fading memory.

Flickering off and on, like a light bulb dimming and dying out.

You were once safe, stored away in a compartment of my mind.

Vivid and clear. I was confident in your heady memory. 

Now a mere shadow.

An empty canvas I continuously repaint.

Each time is more difficult than the last.

I’m forgetting your facial features.

Everything a discombobulated blur.

The sound of your voice.

A static hum of white noise. 

Loud and confusing.

I am in anguish.

I weep.

Clammy and ill.

Piteously grasping on to a dying memory, slowly being eaten by a black void.

Broken and not whole.


I am alone.


Purple Hazed Sky

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn’t be one of them.”


For my painting I started by sketching with a 7mm mechanical pencil(I created for a friend who found a painting online of a girl smoking cigarette, and asked me to paint her one like it but with a blunt instead) 

Started using watercolors to shade.

I used Faber Castell Indian ink artist pen brush tip for outlining and shirt.

    Dating freaking sucks!

I’m so tired of the daunting rules of the game.

     I’m slowly and painfully drowning in a sea of cookie cut out assholes!

                     Goals:  (hey a girl can dream)

Lightning bolts and booming thunder waking up a purple hazed sky,

A mind jolting, smoke filled first inhale,

Hot sun kisses on my shivering wet skin,

Ice cold cherry cola fizzing and tickling my tongue,

                  I need to:

Dump out my tea cup brimming full of Toms, Dicks, and Harrys I’ve been politely sipping on,

Grab a bottle of golden whiskey, slurp on some messy-wet kisses, 

Then gulp and devour that bottle until every warm, sticky, and tantalizing drop is gone.


            Ash 🙂 🙂 🙂

Giraffes, Hippos, Wings, and Tessa

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”

                  -Dr. Suess

              My niece Tessa has been staying over every weekend. She is extremely loud, wildly uncouth, and downright delightful. I have been down in the dumps of late, feeling utterly useless as a functioning human being, but she has really cheered me up. Through brownies, Netflix, and Tessa’s wild, crazy stories and awful magic tricks, I am feeling much better. Tessa asked me to paint her a giraffe and hippo flying over white, fluffy clouds, so I did. And she loved it. Yay Aunt Ash! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Have a great weekend!!!

                 Ash 🙂

My Valentine’s Day Field Guide

“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”

            -Carrie Bradshaw

      I have mapped out my Valentine’s Day tomorrow with a handy “love myself” field guide. Being single doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to suck.
                  My V-Day Field Guide

Buy myself chocolates: the biggest and gaudiest heart shaped box of eat my emotions.

Take a steaming hot bath overloaded with delicate floral scented bath bombs of swirling pinks, purples, and blues. Soak my skin in the sweet aroma of self love, listening to Etta James, Louis Armstrong, and Nat King Cole until satisfyingly pruny.

Wear the softest oversized t-shirt I own, and hot pink fluffy socks. Light about five different floral scented candles in my room. Spend quality time browsing the Romance category on Netflix, then binge watch some horror movies.

Stand on my head for one minute, and then do some guided relaxation meditations on self love.

To end the evening, pop a Melatonin and get an amazing night’s sleep.

If I stick to my field guide, I should have an awesome day tomorrow. Hope everyone has an awesome Valentine’s Day too!

                     Ash  🙂 

Triswen Taranath’s Character Study

      To create my next character, I used a 7mm mechanical pencil to sketch, and prismacolor colored pencils. Each day I would add layers of color to different parts of the sketch, and in four days I finished. I am falling in love with using colored pencils. This week I’m taking a break from the pencils and want to take some online watercolor painting classes. I want to keep studying and keep learning. 🙂


Posting each progress shot as I added the colored pencil layers. 🙂

Sketched out his faun body.

Adding mushrooms, grass, and sky.

Triswen Taranath 

A faun who lives in the woods of Arrwen, connected to the dark fae village Ciardha.

Triswen is 1080 fae aged, about 70 years human aged. 

He is an immortal half-goat, half-human fae.

Triswen Taranath is drenched in magick, and can corrupt or help the psyche of humans. 

He uses cloaking magick to hide his faun form, and prefers to appear human.

Triswen is falling in love with a feisty dark fae, Eleanora, who has recently escaped goblin bondage. 

Triswen Taranath is a sensitive and quiet philosopher, a gentle poet, and finds solace in deep contemplations of life.

“Sensitive people suffer more, but they love more and dream more.”

             -Augusto Cury

The weekend is here! Hope everyone has a great one.  🙂 🙂 🙂       Ash

Jekyll and Hyde

I’m healing dammit!

Drinking tea,



Learning to notice and let go,




I want to scream,

Scrubbed my bathroom with bleach,

Feeling ill,

Drank tea,

Painted a mural,

Therapy group thinks I’m too nice,

Got my feelings hurt, boohoo,

Everything hurts my feelings,

I want to scream!


I want to cry,

Store manager following me into toy aisle while shopping for my son,


My cheeks are hot,

He loudly talks to my breast about their better stocked toy aisle,

I’m quiet,

Too quiet,

I notice, I let go,

Leaving store he winks and bellows, “If you were my woman we’d never leave the bed.”

My cheeks are hot.

I smile a stupid smile and leave.

I guess being shy and having boobs means I’d screw him.

Why didn’t I say something?


What a wuss.

I probably made him think I was interested.


Notice and let go.

All the amazing comebacks flood my mind when I leave. 


Where were you 5 minutes ago?

My feelings are hurt.

Everything hurts my feelings.

The women in my newly joined book club are bashing and belittling the book they highly praised and recommended just last week,

The book that seems to be the only thing that is helping me in this stupid therapy group,

They are like annoying squawking birds,

“Who talks like this?”

“I mean, really, who lives like this?”

“I’m just not seeing it.”

“This book is such a bore.”

I’m quiet. I internalize.

I always internalize.


Everything they say is an internal stab.

I get my feelings hurt.

Everything hurts my feelings.

I just want to rip their heads off!

I want to scream, “Say something good and beneficial or I’ll rip your freaking heads off!”

I breath in, I breath out,

I notice, and let go,

I drink tea,

I collect the tea tags with inspirational quotes, 

Can’t bear to throw them away,

They mean something, dammit!

I’m way too sensitive.

What a freaking softy.

Pull it together dammit!

I’m growling inside,

Internal parts of me feral.

I’m crying inside,

Emotions are an intense whirl.

I laugh at how clean my bathroom is.

I’m losing it.

I’m healing dammit!