Time to Heal

For my 18th post for NaNoDrawMo I used pencil to sketch and Koi watercolors.

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She wakes up again. A new day. Her head is so loud. They are there. Parading inside her mind like an annoying marching band. Her constant companions. Thought after thought of shame being knocked around. Thought after thought of failure. She is starting therapy again. She needs to heal and earn bricks. Bricks for a crumbled wall. She remembers therapy. Therapist after therapist. Drugs to help you cope. To be a productive member of society. She remembers society. Working late nights. Immersed in “productiveness”. They are still there with her. Parading in her mind. She started her own therapy. Gifts and product from the productive members of society she worked for. Drugs to remember. Drugs to forget. Covering her arms in bangles. Beaded bracelets covering blood mottled tracks tracing her arms. A plastered smile to hide the unsettling truth beneath. She wakes up again. A new day. Her cheek wrinkled from a filthy toilet seat. She leaves. She checks herself in and cleanses her soul and body. Feels new. Feels clean again. But they are still there. Parading in her mind. She breathes in, she breathes out. Yoga and running are her therapy now. The noise is so loud and unbearable at times. She drowns inside bottles muffling the noise. It only destroys her more. She falls in love. She falls out of love. She falls in love. She loses love. This time will be different. She will enter into therapy again. Grasp the secret and elusive “healing” and hold on. She will rebuild her wall. Gain love. Acquire life. Conquer and survive. But for now, they are there. Her constant companions. Loud and wretched, parading in her mind.

                         Ash

  

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