I have had a busy couple of months. I hermited myself away in my home, my heart was broken, I was literally guzzling bottles of wine, and then mourning a friend and fellow mother who relapsed on heroine and died, and I just felt crushed, alone, used, and washed-up. I felt at my lowest, and felt such a crushing depression that I thought I was dying inside. I hated my reflection and the sound of my voice, and seriously couldn’t think of anyone who benefited from my existence, and I questioned God and asked Him why did He make me if I was just going to be this miserable dying heap of flesh that wasn’t good for anything and was just useless. I was crying everyday so hard my face was swollen and every time I ate anything I consumed snot and tears. I dreamed of sticking my head in water and just sucking it in as fast as I can just to get it over with. But God just out of the blue, right when I was crushed and at my lowest point, He lifted me up. And my life is now full of joy and peace. Literally in a blink of an eye I am out of that darkness and I am sitting here right now in light. I have a wonderful uncle who loves me like a father and took me to his church every week. And now I have friends (where did they come from? ), I have purpose, and a life. And an amazing man of God who loves me and my son and wants to be in our life. Where did he come from and when did this happen? I am in shock and awe at this point. But God picked me up all broken and useless and made me whole again. For that I am ever thankful to Elohim and He has given me a reason to dance again.
Ash 🙂 🙂 🙂
For my painting, I used a 7mm pencil to sketch and acrylic paints on an 11×13 canvas.